I want to spend some time today sharing my personal journey to Move Freely and the importance of this mission and its potential impact for every being.
Like many entrepreneurs, the journey to build a mission begins before any certifications, any legal documentation, any social media profiles, websites, etc.
It begins before you even know it is beginning.
My healing journey and thus the Move Freely journey began in 2011 when I began seeking therapeutic services for complex PTSD and sexual trauma at Turning Point Rape Crisis Center in Plano, Texas. Turning Point began offering therapeutic yoga classes for their clients in conjunction with the psycho-therapy. A group of woman, including myself, piled into the dimly lit room learning to find more ease in our ability to be present through a yoga practice. It was uncomfortable, but I was moved to keep coming back without a complete understanding of what was happening and why I wanted to be a part of it. Today, I can with certainty that the what and why was because my experience at Turning Point was the beginning of bringing me as I say "back into my body."
Returning to my body was an absolute necessity for lasting healing to take place.
You see unfortunately because of life stressors and unresolved traumas, the majority of us at some point or another “leave our body”.
We disconnect.
We shut down.
We dis-associate.
Whole periods of life seemingly disappear from the memory banks.
We turn to alcohol, drugs, food, relationships, sex, tv, social media, the list goes on ad infinitum to avoid whatever is lurking beneath the surface that is to overwhelming to face.
Sometimes there is a conscious decision to avoid and disconnect, and other times our response to trauma and stressors is absolutely out of our hands. If it is the latter, keep in mind that the main goal of the brain and body is to ensure survival- it will react to any given stressful situation as necessary to keep us protected. Our brain and body are not planning for the future effects of our stress responses, it is just ensuring your life-hood for the next twenty-four hour window.
So, whether it is a conscious or unconscious disconnect that is occurring to momentarily protect us, whatever we did not face does not just "disappear." It melts into the psyche, re-emerging in our action, attitudes, and behaviors. It impacts us over and over again when future triggering events occur and dredge up the old wounds. Its memory and effects get imprinted into the tissues of our bodies and courses through our entire nervous system.
That last part may seem 'woo woo', but any quick google search will point to hundreds of articles revealing the science behind tissue memory and body health issues related to unresolved stress and trauma. A wonderful in depth yet digestible book to read regarding trauma stored in the body is The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D..
So back to my personal experience,
I continued to work through ten plus years of talk therapy, I kept up my personal yoga practice after leaving the care of Turning Point Rape Crisis Center, and even after becoming a yoga teacher in 2017 I was still left feeling as though there was a disconnect. It felt as though there was something still lurking under the surface that wanted to be approached, needed to be approached, and yet the words and my current self-care and self-love practices just couldn't quite tap into that unknown. I wrote regarding this chapter of my journey,
"Lots of work. work. work. work.
And then there came a day I no longer wanted to "do" the work. Actually it was as though presently there was no work to "do".
That was a confusing time period of my life.
I felt lost.
I felt as if I was doing something wrong-
Because why did I still feel the same way after all that I had done to heal?"
I began praying for direction and remained open to a new path.
In 2018 I was led to make a call to a Massage Therapist I had recently been introduced too who specialized in Reiki and Thai Massage. Another door opened, a new path unfolded and I knew I had tapped into another integral block in the foundation of MOVE FREELY. I have since regularly experienced all types of hands on body-work including reiki, thai massage, body memory recall, therapeutic massage, emotional release techniques, and myofascial work.
Bodywork has helped me to drop into a deeper level of healing by creating opportunities to experience the plethora of emotions that had lodged themselves deep into my tissues.
I bold the word experience because it is separate from understanding; separate, but still equally important.
I believe the "understanding" part of healing as the portion in which I and my talk-therapist created a timeline of my experiences and saw how each of these core memories and events impacted me presently. It was absolutely an integral part in acknowledging the why I made certain decisions and behaved in certain ways. It has allowed me to understand myself and others, and have control and authority to make healthy and whole decisions that are more aligned with who I truly want to be today. I felt a range of emotions throughout these steps of the journey, and I assume there are more steps of understanding to come. But, now the experiential part of the healing process has looked slightly different than the above.
I wrote regarding this particular chapter of the work,
"I see now the WORK had shifted, it was now time to feel.
It was now time to release the trauma stored in my body on a much deeper level I had yet experience.
This work is gentle. This work is slow.
This work takes many pauses.
This work reveal's itself in the places of quiet stillness.
It reveals itself in dreams, in meditations, during movement practices, on the table of a bodyworker,
on my couch curled up in a blanket watching a gray day creep by.
It has no timeline, it has no chart notes for me or my therapist.
It comes during some of the most unexpected moments.
I have found one truth in this part of the process,
It comes when I am open and ready.
I say that but sometimes I dont even know when I am open and ready,
but the body does.
It just knows."
I have learned through the bodywork, through the mindful movement, through the meditations, the journaling, the somatic exercises, the yoga...all of it, how to actually FEEL and BE IN joy and grief without wanting to numb or “leave” this earthly experience. I find myself learning to BE and LOVE myself in the deepest way through the many aspects of this portion of the healing work.
The work today feels a lot less like "work work work" and more like empowered living.
For instance, one of the things that I explored this past year and made momentous steps forward with is in my ability to approach shame with curiosity. For years I would cry to my therapist how I still felt so controlled by shame, and this experiential work has seemingly unleashed the shame shackles.
I have dove deep into creating my own self-practice and rituals that utilize all the techniques I have mentioned above. I have rooted deeply into this work and am now ready to hold containers for teaching others to lovingly do the same. I envision each individual finding their own unique practices and rituals that bring them a little closer to living a expansive and free life- my dream is for you as well to MOVE FREELY.
Over the past year and a half of offering massage in addition to my other movement and bodywork services, I have geared my interest, and approach to be more centered around what has helped me the most.
If I was asked how to describe my massage style I would say that I don’t have a massage routine I default to because all massages are client-centered and intuitively approached. I truly listen to the body, melt into the tissues, and go with the flow. This approach with massage clients is also how I have also been gearing my yoga classes so that they provide more opportunities for deep healing.
Additionally, I am currently completing my Trauma Informed Yoga Teacher Training as well as certification in Somatic Therapy and Bodywork Facilitation. I am very much looking forward to expanding on these schools, integrating them with energetic work, and offering some weekly opportunities for a community to learn, grow and heal together in 2024.
My current bodywork openings are as follows:
Mondays: 11am-7pm
Tuesdays/Wednesdays: Appointment times are available, but vary. Call/Text with request.
Fridays: 1 pm - 8pm
Saturdays: 8am-4pm
For more information on pricing visit my services tab on my website at movefreelybodyworks.com
Please contact me at 2145180320 to schedule a bodywork session today.
So well written Victoria 💕LOVE “I bold the word experience because it is separate from understanding; separate, but still equally important.”
You’re inspiring, thank you for doing the work and creating safe spaces for others to heal around you. Xo, KB